Am I a perfectionist? And is that a problem?

The short answer? It depends. Perfectionism is a word that gets thrown around a lot. Some people see it as a negative trait, while others wear it like a badge of honour. But what does it actually mean? It has the word perfect in it — surely that’s a good thing, right?

Perfectionism is often associated with high expectations, a desire for flawless results, and strong attention to detail.

Let’s break it down a little.

Having goals and expectations can be motivating. They can push us to grow and develop. But when those expectations aren’t realistic, come at a high cost, or are rigid and inflexible, they can start to do more harm than good.

With perfectionism, goals are often driven by a fear of failure — If I don’t achieve this, I’m not good enough— which only adds to the pressure to achieve. And because that fear is always lurking in the background, reaching a goal often doesn’t bring the sense of satisfaction we expect. Instead, a new goal quickly takes its place.

There may be an expectation that achieving the goal will bring self-worth or a sense of accomplishment — but those feelings are often fleeting. Attention shifts almost immediately to the next task. It’s like perfectionism is a computer game with a glitch: every time you reach the final level, a new one appears.

So, it’s no surprise that perfectionism is often linked to pressure and overwhelm which can lead to procrastination and avoidance. When that pressure is paired with little recognition or celebration of achievements, it can lead to exhaustion, anxiety, and even depression. And if the goal isn’t met? The perfectionist rarely questions the goal itself. Instead, they ask: What’s wrong with me?

How can I stay ambitious and pursue my goals without falling into the trap of perfectionism? One approach is to focus on this concept of healthy striving. With healthy striving, goals are adaptable, realistic, and aligned with the bigger picture. When our goals are driven by our values and what truly matters to us — rather than by fear of failure — we’re more likely to take risks, celebrate our wins, and keep going when we hit roadblocks.

So next time you set yourself a goal, try asking: Is this goal realistic given my current workload, resources, and priorities? Am I open to adjusting it if circumstances change? And if it doesn’t go exactly as planned, can I reflect on what I’d do differently — and still take a moment to acknowledge what worked?

Perfectionism is a really common issue people experience at work. For training and support for your team, contact us contact@butterflyeffectpsychology.com for tailored training.